SERIES // CARB WARS: IF YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT THEN I’M A HUMAN PIZZA

AAAAA

I don’t know if any of you have noticed but, my posts, on average, tend to be about 10,000 words long. Well maybe not 10,000 but they’re considerably long. So, I’m going to introduce some series to my blog. To split things up a bit. This can be the pilot episode.

*BIG CHEER*

Since I am basically a walking, talking carbohydrate (I’m probably 70% pizza, 20% wine and 10% sarcasm), I thought it’d be good to do a series about the stuff I hate to love aka food and the thing I love to hate aka, the gym.

Food_Addiction

I think this series will be full of fun stuff. The gym isn’t fun, but me talking about the gym might be. I have a lot of opinions, definitely a lot regarding body image etc … some maybe a tad controversial but hey, it all makes good reading. Who doesn’t love a good old stir of the pot, ey?

I’m going off track – Basically, summer is coming, meaning it’s around about the time of year where I go on my annual diet. I say diet, I mean panic. I’ll see a holiday post on some social media platform then die inside for a solid 10 minutes, thinking about all the pizzas I’ve scranned in the last month alone. Then I probably cheer myself up with more pizza … Why am I like this?

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I definitely feel like I’m one of those people where the sun motivates me. When it’s sunny, everyone loves eating salads and going on evening jogs.

But, as soon as it goes September 1st, it’s back to hibernation mode for me. Where I’ll get chunky and funky, drinking a gallon of Rioja a day and eating cheese like it’s going out of fashion. The life!

However, the time has come to shed my winter layer (better late than never) and become a lean, mean, gyming machine. (See what I did there…)

My body is … okay. I can’t say I’m fat, because I know I’m not, but you know, it could be better. A lot better.

I have a decent body but … you can tell I definitely eat bread.

My diet though is absolutely shocking. I either drink 56 cups of green tea and eat nothing but dust, air, and molecules for a week or, take the role of ‘the 5,000, in ‘feed the 5’000’. There’s no in between.

So, during this series, I’m going to document my “annual panic”. Maybe that will motivate me? I mean, I couldn’t possibly fail in front of all you lot. (I probably could.)

In fact, no. I’ve decided, if I do fail, I’ll change my name be deed-poll to Potato. You’re all my witnesses.

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I’m not giving anything up. Not the wine, not the Haribos and definitely not the bread. I don’t believe in full-on crash diets. I’ve had my time of disordered eating thank.you.

People don’t stick to crash diets anyways, and restricting just make you miserable. The way I see it, we’re all gunna be in the ground one day … do you think that you, or anyone else you know, are gunna give a toss when you breathe your dying breath that you never skipped a yoga class and lived a bland, pizza-less, herbal life?

No. So for crying out loud, enjoy yourself. Be happy. If a ham and cheese sandwich makes you happy. Have a ham and cheese sandwich. True story, me and my two best friends have a theory that “no problem can’t be solved with a good sandwich”, and I think that could definitely, probably be v accurate. Maybe.

funny pizza meme

That being said. I don’t think it’s cool to be lazy, or unhealthy either. Everything in moderation is fine, but being a slob isn’t.

I feel like I do know a fair bit about diet and exercise, and I do enjoy it … (to some extent). However, I also enjoy scranning. This series is gunna be about my next few months battle with the scran, plus a few other things.

Food_war

Okay, maybe not the most epic of battles but hopefully we’ll have a right old laugh along the away, and I’ll be ripped to bits by the end, yeah?

We’ll see. Anyhow. Hope you enjoyed this pilot-post. Tune in same time, next week for the next episode. Until then.

SORT OF THINGS TO EXPECT:

FOOD FOR THOUGHT & THOUGHTS ABOUT FOOD

PRESSURES IN SOCIETY 

TRIPS TO THE GYM // PROGRESS 

DIET AND EXERCISE METHODS // PROGRESS

A FEW PAST EXPERIENCES MAYBE

AND DEFINITELY A FEW OPINION PIECES 

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Note: pictures are not mine, and are readily available on google! 

5 thoughts on “SERIES // CARB WARS: IF YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT THEN I’M A HUMAN PIZZA

  1. siobhanfuller says:

    Yes yes yes! It’s all about balance – eat what you fancy, whether that’s a salad or a pizza, move your body and don’t dwell on it. I love the idea for these posts and can’t wait to read more. So glad I stumbled across your blog, I’ve been scrolling through for the past half an hour and keep just wanting to comment “yes!” on every post hahaha xxx

    Liked by 1 person

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